Christmas etiquette tips from 'the Queen'

How to enjoy the perfect festive season, according to @Queen_UK

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Christmas is that time of the year where we come together as friends and families to celebrate the year past and look forward to the year ahead.
Yet your Queen knows better than anyone that such times can be as stressful as they are happy.
Whilst chaos reigns around the world, thankfully we British are blessed with a high level of etiquette to keep everything in shape. Here are one's top Christmas etiquette rules, as observed at Sandringham.

1) You may be tempted to invest in a large Christmas tree to encourage feelings of envy amongst your friends and neighbours but always remember that a tree of more than 100ft tall is just showing off. And under no circumstances should the tree touch the ceiling of your ballroom.

2) Tinsel is never acceptable as a decoration on this side of the Channel. And it is certainly never acceptable to make a dress out of it, Edward.

Watching one's speech on ITV is actually a criminal offence and, be assured, one will prosecute

3) It is never appropriate to have in-laws over for Christmas lunch. Ever. No matter how much they insist that they are part of the (royal) family. Is that clear, Mr and Mrs Middleton?

4) If, like one, you have a grandson who likes to spend Christmas in the nude, politely remind him that he is not in Vegas now and that no one wants to see the crown jewels whilst tucking into a Goose.

5) Goose. Not turkey. Not an Asda "Three Bird Roast for under a fiver". Goose.

6) Always buy a bigger goose than you imagine necessary. There should always be enough to go around. If there's one rule Prince Andrew lives by, it is to make sure you stuff a extra large bird at Christmas.

7) If your son is next in line to the throne, it is considered the height of rudeness to comment that a Christmas party hat is the closest he'll get to a crown for a while.

8) Watching one's speech at 3pm on Christmas Day is absolutely non-negotiable. Watching it on a phone, on "catch up" or on ITV is actually a criminal offence and, be assured, one will prosecute.

9) If, like one, you invite family and friends over for a fancy dress party of Christmas evening, always be extra clear on your instructions. One held a Eurovision fancy dress party last year and Camilla misread the invitation for "Euro Crisis" and came as Greece. Awkward.

10) Following a Christmas Day full of food and drink, a light breakfast is the order of the morning on Boxing Day. Try black pudding, baked beans, fried eggs, sausages, fried potatoes, mushrooms and tomatoes to cleanse the system.

• Twitter's @Queen_UK is the unofficial head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, wife of the DoE, mother, grandmother and author of Gin O'Clock.

http://news.uk.msn.com/socialvoices/christmas-etiquette-tips-from-the-queen-224588/