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There is a lot of greed in this nation. The leaders we have are very selfish, they think of themselves alone. They have no plans for the people; everyone is surviving on his or her own which is not giving any room for national growth. There is corruption, cheating, fraud everywhere. These are alarming and painful. No one cares for the other which is bad -- Sheila Solarin 60 years ago, Mrs Sheila Solarin, widow of social critic and educationist, Dr Tai Solarin, left the comfortable confines of England, her country, with her husband for the unfamiliar climate of Nigeria. The octogenarian who still teaches English Language and marks students’ essays shared the fun and the challenges of old age, life in Nigeria since 1952, especially since the demise of her husband 18 years ago Would it be right to say that you fell in love with Nigeria immediately you met Tai? It is very right and I guess it is proper. A woman is supposed to love everything about her husband. Love is not supposed to have any barrier. Tai was one man I cherished; we were not just couples but good companions. We shared a lot and so, it was very easy for us to live together. He was a Nigerian and a proud one. When we met in England, he never gave the impression that he was not in love with his country. He was passionate about Nigeria and humanity generally; it is therefore difficult to dissociate him from this lovable country. I love everything about him and so, coming and living in Nigeria with him was to me no big deal but part of the deal. He loved my country and people too, so, no party is cheated. Where did you meet your husband and why were you attracted to a black man? We met at the University of Manchester; we were both students and colour or no colour, I was attracted to him for his hard work, simplicity and straightforwardness. He was down-to-earth, not a deceiver, good tempered, very honest and a good listener. Above all, he was fun to be with; he had this sense of humour that got you glued to him all the time. What were your parents’ views on your choice knowing well that you could have picked from one of the many white guys around? At the initial stage, my mother was reserved but when she met him, she liked him. We kept a fam-ily that was not bias about anyone whatever your skin colour or wherever you come from; it was easy for them to accept him. Besides, he was a lovable person himself. What about his own family? They accepted me as their wife, they were good to me. How did you handle the strange climate of Nigeria, especially when you first came - the electricity problem, harsh weather and others? None of these issues was any problem to me. I came from a poor family, we lived in the countryside not in the city. So, we also had similar experiences. In our case, we did not have electricity until I was in my teens. There was also no pipe-borne water which is not far from what is obtainable in Nigeria. In short, my background helped me to cope well in Nigeria. My husband was a good man, very supportive. This again helped me to acclimatise well. How then would you describe his absence? Life without Tai has been full of vacuum that nobody can fill. I miss him so much and all of the time but as we all know, even twins that are born the same day won’t die the same day, talkless of people who were born on different days and at different times. He has been gone for 18 years now and here I am still breathing and alive. You said earlier that both of you share a lot in common. Can you tell us some of those things? Both of us are realists. We do things because we believe they are just right, not because people say so. We are both humanists and not church goers. Are you saying you don’t go to church? We both don’t. I see no need to; likewise him. Many in one religion or the other do so because they are afraid of death. They are afraid of getting killed by people and some forces whereas death is an inevitable thing, it will come when it will. We will all die one day whether we run to church, mosque or any other place. Tai did not attach anything to death or the general belief of ceremonies after death, which is why he instructed before his death that he should be buried in his newly ploughed farm so that his body would be useful to the speedy growth of the plant, the vegetables. Many people were shocked and I did not know why. Human beings are to live to benefit others which is what the country is suffering from. How do you mean? There is a lot of greed in this nation. The leaders we have are very selfish, they think of themselves alone. They have no plans for the people; everyone is surviving on his or her own which is not giving any room for national growth. There is corruption, cheating, fraud everywhere. These are alarming and painful. No one cares for the other which is bad. In Britain and United Kingdom, the rich people donate half of what they have to charity, but here, beggars increase by the day as no one cares. The universities churn out graduates every year with no provision of where to accommodate them. So, the streets are full and all kinds of crime and fraudulence are the targets. There is a lot to be done by Nigerian leaders; they need to imbibe a selfless life, plan ahead for the youth, leave a worthwhile legacy. Nigerians in general should live a life that impacts positively on others, make one person happy at least. That’s the way to serve humanity. The gap between the rich and the poor is too wide, there is need to bridge it. What’s your view about the Nigerian education system? No adequate attention is given Nigerian education system. From the primary to secondary, the public schools have given total space to private owners which is making it more decayed. Most teachers in these schools end up as teachers because it was the available option they had in the universities, and not by choice. There are no good buildings in the schools, students learn not under a conducive environment. All these have affected the system negatively. Teachers are corrupt; parents are corrupt; students, also, are corrupt. There is corruption everywhere. You clocked 88 recently. How would you describe old age? It’s fun and wonderful. I did not know I would live this long; I have lived a very busy and active life. Here I am, still living. How did you cope in those years when your husband was in and out of the prisons? Those were the few years before he died. It was lonely and strenuous because I had to combine the job of caring for the home, the kids with that of the school. And then, no one could determine how long he would stay away. This was apart from the fact that I had to run around the lawyers and the prisons. It was a lot of work but it was worth the while. Marriages these days don’t last long but yours, an inter-racial one, lasted 43 years. What’s the secret? Failed marriages are caused by different factors largely from the players. Maturity is one major reason for most collapsed homes. Couples need to be grown up both physically and emotionally to know what they want and not what the society dictates. If they will follow their minds more, marriages will become better. For us, we respected each other’s views and ideas, we knew we wanted each other and we allowed no barricades. Tai was always willing to listen, he gave me freedom and allowed the feeling of equality and partnership. All this and mutual love kept our home. Nat.Mirror |
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