equity?
Akpors: lambata ighotobore amarakata.
Lecturer: I don’t understand you.
Akpors: Same here...
God to akpors: Son, what do you wish for?
Akpors: A job, a big vehicle & lots of girls
God: Amen
#Akpors Is Now the Bus Driver of girls secondary school, Umuleri.
Akpos o! The students of Warri Grammar School went on excursion to Egypt.
On the tomb of Pharaoh was written 1102BC, the teacher asked "who knows what this means"?
Nobody except Akpos raised his hand but d teacher
was not comfortable & pretended not to take notice of him.
She then asked again and yet only Akpos' hand was still up.
So she allowed him to answer.
Akpos said "Na Pharaoh BB Pin".
Akpos girlfriend invited him to her home, so that he could meet her parents. While they were eating, it started raining heavily. D girl's mother said: "Akpos, I think u should sleep over here because this rain shows no sign of stopping anytime soon." After eating d mom went to d toilet & d father went to sleep while d girl went to d kitchen to clear d dishes. When d girl & d mother returned, Akpos was no longer there. As they were busy wondering where he was, he came back really soaking wet! Mother:"Where were u & why are u so wet?"
Akpos: "I went home to get my pyjamas".
Akpors: Dad,whats the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?
Dad turns to wife: would u sleep with Barak Obama for $1 million?
Wife: Of course, i will never waste such an opportunity.
Dad turns to daughter: Would u sleep with Brat Pitt fo $1 million?
Daughter: Yes! He is my fantasy.
Dad turns to elder son: Would u sleep with Atiku for $1 million?
Eldest son: Why not? Imagine what I would do with that money.
Dad turns to his youngest son Akpors: U see
son, 'potentially' we are sitting with multimillionaires BUT in 'reality' we are sitting with two prostitutes and one Gay idiot=D
Akpors went To a Doctor With Eyes Problem, then He was Set on Operation'
He did not want to pay the doctor's fee after the eye operation. So when the doctor demanded he pay, he said "I cant see."
So the doctor whispered on one
of his sexy nurses and tells her to
undress infront of akpors.
"Can you see" the Doctor asked.
"I still cant see." akpors answered..
The doctor tells the nurse to open her legs.
Akpors: "I still cant see."
Teacher: "Akpos, U?"
Akpos: "Onome's husband."
#lobatan
AKPOS: Will you punish me for something i didn't do? TEACHER: Of course not! AKPOS: Good, because I didn't do
my homework!
Rukewe packs the picnic basket with drinks and sandwiches. Oghene carried the basket and they set out for the park 10km away.
It takes them 2 hours to get there. When they arrived, Rukewe quickly spread the mat and set out the sandwiches. After checking around, Oghene found out that Rukewe did not pack the bottle opener. They then begged Akpos to make t
he 4 hour trip to and fro for the opener. He disagreed. ''You'll finish the sandwiches before I return,'' Akpos protested.
''No we won't'', assured Rukewe.
After some more cajoling from them, Akpos reluctantly sets out for the opener.
After 5 hours, there was no sign of Akpos. They decided to wait for another 3 hours. Still no sign of Akpos.
Oghene and Rukewe after waiting on Akpos for more than 8 hours were by now very hungry so they decided to take one sandwich each.
As they were about to eat, Akpos pops out from behind a rock screaming: ''I KNEW IT! I'M NOT GOING AGAIN''!!!
''No we won't'', assured Rukewe.
After some more cajoling from them, Akpos reluctantly sets out for the opener.
After 5 hours, there was no sign of Akpos. They decided to wait for another 3 hours. Still no sign of Akpos.
Oghene and Rukewe after waiting on Akpos for more than 8 hours were by now very hungry so they decided to take one sandwich each.
As they were about to eat, Akpos pops out from behind a rock screaming: ''I KNEW IT! I'M NOT GOING AGAIN''!!!
A girl sitting close to akpos was singing in a bus.
Akpos: Why cant you sing in radio.
GirL: Am i singing that good.
Akpos: I mean, we can at least put off the radio.
Akpos: Why cant you sing in radio.
GirL: Am i singing that good.
Akpos: I mean, we can at least put off the radio.
Akpos : Would You Like To Be The Sun Of My Life ?
Onome : Awwww ...so lovely of you, Yes I wanna be !
Akpos : Then Stay 9,995,887.6 Miles Away From Me..
Onome : Awwww ...so lovely of you, Yes I wanna be !
Akpos : Then Stay 9,995,887.6 Miles Away From Me..
Music teacher: "What is your favorite musical instrument?" Akpos: "The lunch bell..."
can I help you?” the madam asked.??
I want Onome,” Akpos replied.??
Young Man, Onome is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else…”??
No, I must see Onome.” Akpos replied. Just then Onome appeared and
I want Onome,” Akpos replied.??
Young Man, Onome is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else…”??
No, I must see Onome.” Akpos replied. Just then Onome appeared and
announced to Akpos that she charges N50,000 per visit.??
Akpos never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her fifty pieces of N1,000 notes. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding Onome.
Onome explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. it was still N50,000. Again Akpos took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Onome the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Onome questioned Akpos: “No one has ever used my services three nights in a row… where are you from?”??
Akpos replied, “I am from Warri.” “Really?” replied Onome, “I have a brother who lives there and does business.”??
Yes; I know,” Akpos replied. “He gave me N150,000 to give to you.”
Akpos never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her fifty pieces of N1,000 notes. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding Onome.
Onome explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. it was still N50,000. Again Akpos took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Onome the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Onome questioned Akpos: “No one has ever used my services three nights in a row… where are you from?”??
Akpos replied, “I am from Warri.” “Really?” replied Onome, “I have a brother who lives there and does business.”??
Yes; I know,” Akpos replied. “He gave me N150,000 to give to you.”
Akpos just got a job as a porter in a five star hotel in Abuja.
The manager told him:
"...in here we give every customer personalized services and you have to be very observant so you know how to address their every need even before they ask"
Before the manager could finish, a couple walked through the hotel entrance and the manager quickly approached them, nicely took their baggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs James, it is our delight to have you in our hotel. Please come this way to the reception"
... and he led them to the reception.
After the couple had been taken care of, Akpos asked the manager,
"Has the couple been visiting this hotel before?"
"No" came the reply from the manager.
"So how come you knew their name?" asked Akpos.
"That is why I told you to be very observant. All I had to do was quickly look at the label on their baggage while I'm taking it from them and see the name on the tag".
"Oh, here comes another couple. Why don't you give it a try?"
"Ok" said Akpos and he hurriedly approached the couple, helped them with their luggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs SUPERIOR HAND MADE LEATHER! We are delighted to have you in our hotel..."
The manager fainted!
Teacher: "What do you call a bee that lives in America?"..
Akpos: "USB".
Akpors is right back from school,
tired and hungry
Mother: Akpors u are back?
Akpors: Yes mum..
Mother: What were u taught in
school 2day?
Akpors: It's agriculture
Mother: Which topic?
Akpors: Desert.!
Mother: What is desert?
Akpors: A desert is a place where
grass never grow
Mother: Gud boi..gv example?
Akpors: Daddy's head
Apkos- ochuko i like your teeth.
Ochuko- Thank you. But why?
Akpos- it reminds me of a song called "Black and Yellow"
At the ATM... Akpos finished usin d machine.
The fellow behind says to him, "sir, I know ur PIN.
Akpos: *suprised* how come? I dnt believe u. Oya, if u know it, tell me".
Then fellow says, "I'm telling u I saw it just now, is it not xxxx ?"
Akpos laughs and says, "u don't know it jare, it is 5432".
The manager told him:
"...in here we give every customer personalized services and you have to be very observant so you know how to address their every need even before they ask"
Before the manager could finish, a couple walked through the hotel entrance and the manager quickly approached them, nicely took their baggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs James, it is our delight to have you in our hotel. Please come this way to the reception"
... and he led them to the reception.
After the couple had been taken care of, Akpos asked the manager,
"Has the couple been visiting this hotel before?"
"No" came the reply from the manager.
"So how come you knew their name?" asked Akpos.
"That is why I told you to be very observant. All I had to do was quickly look at the label on their baggage while I'm taking it from them and see the name on the tag".
"Oh, here comes another couple. Why don't you give it a try?"
"Ok" said Akpos and he hurriedly approached the couple, helped them with their luggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs SUPERIOR HAND MADE LEATHER! We are delighted to have you in our hotel..."
The manager fainted!
Teacher: "What do you call a bee that lives in America?"..
Akpos: "USB".
Akpors is right back from school,
tired and hungry
Mother: Akpors u are back?
Akpors: Yes mum..
Mother: What were u taught in
school 2day?
Akpors: It's agriculture
Mother: Which topic?
Akpors: Desert.!
Mother: What is desert?
Akpors: A desert is a place where
grass never grow
Mother: Gud boi..gv example?
Akpors: Daddy's head
Apkos- ochuko i like your teeth.
Ochuko- Thank you. But why?
Akpos- it reminds me of a song called "Black and Yellow"
At the ATM... Akpos finished usin d machine.
The fellow behind says to him, "sir, I know ur PIN.
Akpos: *suprised* how come? I dnt believe u. Oya, if u know it, tell me".
Then fellow says, "I'm telling u I saw it just now, is it not xxxx ?"
Akpos laughs and says, "u don't know it jare, it is 5432".
No comments:
Post a Comment